Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Randomize
