Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
