me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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