I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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