The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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