I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
