I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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