so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
