David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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