I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
