There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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