it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
