it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
