I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
its liver damage thursday
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
