Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
