Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
