She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You were trust falling into bushes
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
