i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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