I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
