I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
i think my cat just said my name.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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