walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
