She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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