But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
BRING THE BAGELS
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
