Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i believe in u and ur pee
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
