Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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