Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
