Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Someone shattered a urinal.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
