so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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