i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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