who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
