I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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