new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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