I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
