I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
