Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
