Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
