Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I am mentally ready for anal.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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