Kiss
Puke
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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