Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
