I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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