gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
