Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
