i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
