I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
