We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
