wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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