A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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