Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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