i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
