her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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